Seeing a psychologist
Hey friends!

So basically, this article has been written in two parts. One part when I (finally) took the decision to go see a psychologist and take an appointment and actually going to see someone.
So yeah (best way to start a sentence right ?), when I was in high school so 4 years ago, we ask me if I wanted to see a psychologist because I hap panic attacks and also family troubles and ... At the time I couldn't really so when the university proposed me to see a psychologist and while I'm not great those time, well, after 3 weeks of "I don't need it" I finally made an appointment.
I'm scared because it's something I don't know and because I'm so lost. So, I think I'm just gonna go and as I'm not waiting for anything for that appointment, I just hope I'll find answers.
6 days later (and one appointment later) ...
So hey :)
I have been to my appointment, one and I still gonna see my psychologist next week.
So when I get into the office, she looked so nice and concern and that how I felt for the whole half hour. She was smiling at me while asking some questions and trying to dig into my brain (of course, not physically). That, at the same time, made me want to trust her but at the same time I felt as if she wasn't honest and maybe she didn't care...
So one of the first thing she did ask me was why I was coming to see her. Thing is that I didn't really know. I'm not at my worst those time and I just stayed for a minute to think (I actually did that for most questions she asked me.
I told her I came because of my panic attacks and I think that's why I came but I'm not really sure that was the only reason.
In here (the blog), I just speak freely but in the "reality" I just don't trust people and I don't speak a lot. I don't know how to express my feelings and I don't like speaking about me and I never speak about me to anyone so I don't know how to do...
So we start speaking and she digs about my life.
At a time, she asked me if I sometimes feel sad and I told her that it wasn't like all the time or each week but the truth is that I don't know. First, it depends when but also I don't know which time I'm sad and which I'm not because I guess the stage you feel sad depends on the person that is answering.
Well, when I get out, I was as lost as when I get in. Maybe more lost but it did help me with my anxiety cause she gave me ideas to help.